Covert Operation: Dasey MacVent
by ChibiBeth18
Summary: The last line of "Futuritis" bugs me. Derek's expression bugs me. It's almost as if he's giving up. DEREK WILL NEVER GIVE UP! College with a twist; Casey and Derek aren't at the same school. There will be peanut butter cup ice cream. Humor will come soon.
1. Same Difference? Really? Really!

Covert Operation: Dasey MacVent

Summary: The last line of "Futuritis" bugs me. Derek's expression bugs me. It's almost as if he's giving. DEREK WILL NEVER GIVE UP! College with a twist: they aren't at the same school. And there will peanut butter cup ice cream. Lots and lots of peanut butter cup ice cream.

Dislaimer: Dude, if I owned Life With Derek, Truman's face would be broken in two by Derek's fist and Dasey would have already had hot, wild sex all over that freaking living room (you know, I've always wondered why that part of the house was always a bit of a disaster zone…)

Chapter 1: Same Difference? Really? Really?!

"Brother…step-brother…same difference."

Five words. Five words that made seeing her at hockey games unbearable, walking into Intro to Shakespeare Production next to her painful, and catching her eye across the student union nearly deathly. "Don't believe what people tell you, Ed," he would murmur, "College is a place of suffering and pain."

His brother would call his bull and hang up to help Marti with her fractions.

Nothing appeared to change on the outside; Casey still went keener and Derek still glued her Intro to Law book shut (it had nothing to do with seeing her rub against an ego-inflated grubber from the same class. Nope). They fought less, but only because living next to each other was against school policy and they barely even saw each other (screams of "DER-EK!" were so few and far between, he could almost feel his heart shatter).

There were some close calls. On the rare occasion they were in the library at the same time (his excuse being girls. He'd never admit to actually trying to get better grades), he would sneak up behind her as she reached for a book too high on the shelve and plucked it down for her. Or sometimes he would lean over her shoulder to look at her computer screen (and smell her hair…Wait! What?! No!). She would turn to look at him, eyes big and blue and so close and _Casey_. Clueless as always, she would overlook the fact that his hands hovered over her waist or shoulders. And he would sink even further into what Edwin and Lizzie diagnosed as light depression over winter break.

"You need to tell her," Lizzie would insist (look, don't ask him how she knew. She and Edwin were just scary like that) as she bounced Jace in her arms. The younger MacDonald had quickly become the number one baby sitter in the household. Derek could only look at the kid and think of what it would be like if Jace was his and Casey's (and, oh dear God, stop thinking about that before you sink even deeper).

"I can't tell Casey anything, and you know it," he retorted weakly. Because that was what he had become, a weak substitute of his former self. Sure, he went through the motions, but in the end, Derek Venturi was one depressed individual. Only the younger siblings noticed. Edwin and Lizzie, who had been attached at the hip (when the hell had they become EdwinLizzie to his DerekCasey?), seemed to have the exact same thoughts at the exact same time. Marti being Marti, she didn't even have to hear his voice or see his face to realize that something was terribly wrong with her Smerek. And Jace. Jesus Christ, Jace. Every time Derek was around, the baby would sense his pain and become hysterical.

Derek had stopped trying to hold his baby brother and made a concerted effort not to be in the same room as him.

Second semester was better, because they had no classes together. She still deemed it necessary to come to his games, but he honestly didn't care. They still saw each other in the library and for a moment, Casey almost realized that his real intentions had nothing to do with girls in the library. Derek promptly silly-stringed her in the student union and reveled in the sound of her scream "DER-EK!" (Derek!).

Halfway through the semester, they had established a routine. Dinner once a month to review family matters and then ignoring each other the rest of the time. And then It happened. The It that made Derek break completely. Le boyfriend.

He was perfect. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Tall. A gentleman. Everything Derek wasn't and it was almost as if Casey was flaunting this fact in front of him. Derek needed out.

At the end of the year he approached the admissions counselor at Queen's about a transfer. His grades had improved exponentially from when he was in high school and his proficiency in hockey got him onto a team faster than should have been possible. Apparently, a liberal arts college in the New York North Country had lost a key player.

He couldn't get the paperwork and registration in fast enough. That summer he found a job teaching field hockey to tweens in Toronto. George and Nora were overjoyed that he seemed to be taking control of his life. Edwin, Lizzie, and Marti were devastated that he was letting go.

Jace's first word wasn't 'mama' or 'dada'. It was Dewek.

A.N. I am beating up Derek. I'm a terrible person who deserves to have tomatoes thrown at me plus a Gibbs-slap. *hangs head in shame * Let it be known that I don't torture Derek for my own entertainment. I love him dearly; he happens to be one of my favorite characters of all time. It will take a while for actual, tangible Dasey to take effect, but never fear. Dasey MacVent is a stubborn concept and will not be taken lightly. I think le boyfriend will be named Edward after a certain sparklepire we all know and lol at. Note to self: Give Derek a happy chapter.


	2. St Lawrence Somethin'

Disclaimer: What can I say? Truman wouldn't have happened and Dasey would have been established. And they would live happily ever after, the end.

Chapter 2: Saint Lawrence…Somethin'

Canton, New York had once been a sleepy town. The old houses surrounding the much newer college campus were between run down and quaint. As Derek's pissy days were more frequent than the happy ones, they were mostly run down (the hell did Casey feel the need to messageboard him on Facebook about every time she and _Edward_ did something cutesy?).

Moving into the dorm early had seemed like a brilliant idea at the time, but after a week of being surrounded by a middle school girls' soccer camp, Derek seriously contemplated driving his car into one of the larger trees on campus,

The day of mass move-in, Derek awaited his new roommate. Who never showed. When the guy finally arrived a day and a half late, Derek began wondering whether dorm life was a good place for him. The roommate he had had at Queen's had a "I don't see you, you don't see me" mentality (except, you know, to inform Derek that his step-sister was HOT). Derek didn't even remember the dude's name.

Andy Durnhass (really? You kidding me?) was the epitome of geekdom. With unruly red hair, glasses, and sweater vests, he reminded Derek of Tinker with less freckles and brown eyes. The first thing he did after blazing into the room with a suitcase and several boxes in tow was to offer Derek a fist full of salt water taffy and a grin.

"Welcome to SLU, pal. They told me you were a transfer from Queen's. What I wouldn't give to see what was going on in you mind when you made _that_ decision," Andy's thick Boston accent made understanding what he said next to impossible. Derek gapped.

"Huh?" he grunted intelligently.

Andy rolled his eyes, "You, transfer, Queen's, here. Why, dude?" he proceeded to dump his suitcase on the bed and went to grab a box from the cart he had brought.

Chocking on his words, Derek felt something akin to pre-game (and pre-Casey) nausea creep up on him. He finally managed, "I-it was for personal reasons."

"Ah, so it was a girl. Must have broken your heart, eh," Andy said knowingly, smirking in a most ungeek-like way.

Okay, so maybe Andy was slightly more badass than previously perceived. Before Derek could respond, however, a knock sounded on the door.

"You expecting someone?" Andy asked, bemused while holding up two Psych books to compare.

Derek shrugged and tottered across the box-strewn floor to the door. Swinging it open, he revealed a tall, dark haired man dressed like he was on his way to a funeral.

"So it's true," the man whispered as he stared at Derek with a mixture of disbelief and fury, "Those numbskulls really did re-pair him. The frick?!"

Shifting to better handle an attack, Derek said, "Look man, if you have a prob—" he was cut off by the unknown man shoving him aside. Turning in time, Derek watched as the man seized Andy's wrists, pulled him hard against himself…and kissed him violently.

…(oh…).

Before Derek had entirely registered what was happening, the man had Andy pinned against the dresser Derek had claimed when he first moved in (the pink polo of Casey was in there, dammit!). Derek could only watch in horrified fascination while Andy flailed for a moment before relaxing into the kiss.

The initial shock wore off after a moment and Derek shifted uncomfortably. He was seriously debating turning tail and bailing because the gay Heathcliff was beginning to scare him, but…

Oh, Jesus.

Was that a tongue?!

(Stand by for technical difficulties).

* * * * *

(As Derek's brains are currently splattered all over his dorm room due to spontaneous head explosion, we will interrupt this line of programming for a message from our covert operation researcher, a.k.a. Edwin).

Agent E's Database

File 996

Subject: Andrew Xander Durnhass

Current Age: 20

Parents: Jon and Sara Durnhass

Siblings: Jacqueline Durnhass

Occupation: Student/therapist

Hair: red Eyes: brown Weight: 148 lbs. Height: 5'10"

Current Address: St. Lawrence University Dorms, Canton, NY

Degree: Studying to become a psychiatrist

Notes: Roomed with one Alex Homer freshman year. Currently in a relationship with one Mr. Keller. Works with under privileged children at the Rec Center. Requires more observation.

* * * * *

Pacing seemed like a good idea, despite the lack of blood in Derek's head. He side-stepped several unpacked boxes on his journey around the cramped room, followed by two pairs of eyes.

Andy and Gay Heathcliff sat on Andy's bed, watching Derek's progress with increasing interest. Andy seemed slightly sheepish, while Gay Heathcliff looked completely smug (Andy's lips were swollen past the point of propriety and Derek really didn't want to go there). Pausing only to tug on his hair, Derek's path soon was cleared of all obstacles.

Several times, he looked about ready to say something, but seemed to think better of it. Finally, he sank down onto his own bed across from the two men.

"Here's what we're going to do," he began, sounding slightly hysterical, "We are going to agree that all romantic relationships will stay out of this room. I will not be sexiled from this room. And we will forget this ever happened."

Andy snorted, causing both Derek and the apparent boyfriend to raise their eyebrows at him, "I'm sorry, Derek. This isn't exactly how I wanted you to met Heath," Derek's roommate glanced witheringly at the tall man, "Heath tends to take possessive, out-of-control passion to an unsafe level." Derek squeaked at the word 'passion' and proceeded to bury his burning face in his hands (and yes, he _does_ see the irony of the creepy man's name, thanks for making it _so _much more obvious that Casey's influence spreads past the border of Canada).

The man, apparently Heath from the introduction Derek had received earlier, smirked as he reached over to snake his arm around Andy's waist and into his shirt (whoa, Andy's face _clashes_ with his hair), "You got a problem with gay men, Venturi?"

A startled laugh escaped Derek, "I could care less who it is my roommate decides to bang, just as long as he doesn't do it in front of me."

If possible, the smirk widened, "I'm glad we've come to an understanding."

"Heath, enough," Andy said exasperatedly, "He's having troubles with his girlfriend. He doesn't need you to make this harder on him."

Heath regarded Derek with a different light at hearing this, "A girl. It all makes _sense_ now."

"Why are we all assuming it's a girl?" Derek asked the room at large as he collapsed back against his mattress.

He could almost sense Heath and Andy looking at each other before answering together, "Because you're acting like a school girl with a crush." (They did that in stereo. How…cute)

Groaning, Derek rolled off his bed and snatched up his camera bag, "You know what, I'm not doing this right now. I have a head ache and I need food. Catch you later, Andy," _shudder_, "Heath."

He was followed out of the room by Heath's parting shout, "If things don't work out between this chick and you, I know this adorable flamer who has a thing for hockey players and their sticks!"

_Slam!_

…That wall seriously, honestly didn't used to be there.

A.N. …*glances to the right * … *glances to the left *…I'm…almost kind of proud of this chapter. I'm almost kind of proud of the Heath's last line. It turned out better than I could have hoped. I needed something completely original to work with. Out of all of the LWD fan fictions I've read, I don't think Derek has ever had a gay roommate… (somebody correct me if I'm wrong). I think he handled it pretty well, ne?

Heath is modeled off of Heathcliff from _Wuthering Heights_, by the by. The dark brooding lover who is too passionate for his own good. I added a little bit of a twist, but yeah… the name was ON PURPOSE. I'm almost kind of in love with him. My friend told me that I should de-gayify him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. What he and Andy have is twue wuv.

P.S. I said I'd give Derek a happy chapter, and I LIED. I gave myself a happy chapter, but Derek has yet to be happy. Maybe next time… she says hopefully.


End file.
